I am consumed by stuff.
Literally, I feel myself being eaten away by this desire for cooking gadgets, new sheets for Sofia’s bed, dog toys…things, things things. Initially, I thought my post-pregnancy body could benefit from dieting but I’ve realized my crisis is more existential: my life is being spent acquiring stuff, consuming away my time alive.
I’ve always loved things.
Luckily, growing up I had the means to buy what I wanted–however my dad, having grown up a Jewish anarchist in the Great Depression, was well acquainted with thrift. Instead of wasting money at Saks Fifth Ave we’d waste it at the Saks outlet and he donated the remainder to charity.
I grew up being much thriftier than I had to but suddenly I’m realizing I have a long way to go. Lately, I’ve been buying flour containers and books at thrift stores, getting flowers to decorate the house from Freecycle: spending less money yet, I still know, over consuming.
Being a practitioner of Attachment Parenting, I choose to surround our daughters with an abundance of love–that’s the goal, at least. However, I’m starting to fear Sofia’s need for more toys/dresses/stuffed animals is not just gluttony but potentially harmful.
Even as I spend less I still feel this want for stuff…a void that things never fill.
Saturday we spent the day in Muir Woods. I feel so contented walking through the calm of giant redwoods with sleeping Olivia in my baby carrier; learning about how redwoods grow in families, seeing the symmetry between my little ones and the trees felt good. I still have a long way to go in my journey of less consumption but being in nature together feels good.